Catherine, the girl~

Friday, November 17, 2006

gotta the news yesterday tat my ah ma can go home today... but later in the evening... we discover blood drippin from her mouth... and blood comin out from her nose tube... how comecan go home? the doc say is to let her go home and spend her remaining days with us.. there is nothin they can do already... her wound still can't be healed.... her pulse gettin weaker till the trainee nurse have to check her pulse manually...
i spend the whole day at the hospital wiping her blood from her mouth and holdin her hand... i guess tat the best i can do for her... i been keepin quiet ... very quiet unlike my mum who been preparin everythin for ah ma...
she went and collect all the family member names and other contacts in case ah ma passed on... never think of such things... all i been doin is pray and keep her safe from pain...
my dad sent us home from hospital after tat... we sat behind the lorry... suddendly a small butterfly flew and stay on my aunt head... my aunt asked wat is tat... i say butterfly la.. my mum and aunt gettin cranky again... she say is bad sign...hiax!
then my mum told us how my grandpa passed on 24 years ago... he was in hospital ready to go home and even asked my mum to brew barley water for him... then early morning tat day... while my mum is preparin to bring barley water to him.. the hospital called and say "he's gone"...
my mum told me she cried all the way to the hospital with the barley water in her hands...
my grandpa never get to drink at all...
it could be the reason why my mum is gettin cranky... she told me on wed night..when my small cousin meiling went and visit ah ma late at night... my ah ma cried veri loud... she never cried so loud before... wonder why?
ah ma suppose to go home at around 1pm from TTS... but the doc haven check on her yet so have to delay till late afternoon... i went home first as i need to settle something... my mum called again and say the doc is going to give ah ma a jet to give her more energy but they could not find any vein in ah ma... therefore no jet is given... and the doc said ah ma body is pretty useless already... i guess i could only pray for her relieve...
ah ma hated hospial... maybe she doesn;t want to let go in hospital... my mum said...
sometimes dun know wan to be angry with her or not... but ah ma also her mum... i think she also dun wan to say such things...

my colleague borrow me one catholic book titled " shall i walk you home"... is a book tellin how to let go ...esp your closed one....

waitin for her to come home...ah ma...

I scribbled at ;; 3:37 PM